Two old men decide they are close to their last days

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, “Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed, these two are so old and so drunk I am not wasting two of my girls on them… They won’t know the difference.”

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home the first man says, “You know, I think my girl was dead!”
“Dead?” says his friend, “why do you say that?”
“Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time i was loving her.”
His friend says, “Could be worse, I think mine was a witch.”
“A witch??! Why the hell would you say that?”
“Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window… Took my teeth with her!"

The famous Greek shipowner was having a house built

The famous Greek shipowner, Ori Oristotle, was having a house built on a large piece of land in Greece. He said to the architect, “Don’t disturb that tree over there, because directly under that tree is where I had my first love.”
“How sentimental, Mr. Oristotle,” said the architect “Right under that tree?”
“Yes,” continued Ori Oristotle. “And don’t touch that tree over there either, because that is where her mother stood watching while I was having my first love affair.”
“Her mother just stood there while you were screwing her daughter?” asked the architect.
“Yes,” said the Greek shipowner.
“But, Mr. Oristotle, what did her mother say?”
“Baaaaa.”