When Mulla Nasruddin reached California

When Mulla Nasruddin reached California, he was directed by our sannyasins there to this ultimate weight-losing program. It took four days and was guaranteed to take off fifty pounds or your money would be refunded.
He entered the building and was told to enter the first door to his left and to undress there. He did so and then from a second door in the room entered a beautiful blonde woman, naked but for a sign around her neck. It read, "If you catch me, you can make love to me!"
Nasruddin felt the passion rise within him. The room was fairly small, but the lady was agile, and it took him twenty minutes to catch her. After his love-making, Nasruddin showered and left, eagerly awaiting the next day.
On the second day, he was directed to another room, a bit larger than the first. There a beautiful redhead, naked except for the sign, greeted him. The chase lasted for almost forty minutes.
On the third day, it was another, larger room, and a beautiful brunette! After almost an hour, he caught her too.
Throughout the three days, Nasruddin had kept an account of his weight loss -- twenty-eight pounds to date.
On the fourth day, he envisioned perhaps a bevy of beauties. He was directed to the top floor. He climbed the stairs, removed his clothes and waited. There was a click behind him as the door was locked, and out of his left eye he caught sight of a huge gorilla coming his way with a sign around its neck which read, "If I catch you I'm going to make love to you!"

To celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary

To celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary, Mulla Nasruddin came home and presented his wife with a little monkey.'Are you crazy or something?' shouted Mistress Nasruddin.'Where the hell are we gonna keep a monkey?'
'Don't worry,' said Nasruddin.'He will sleep right in the bed with us.'
'And what about the smell?'
'If I could stand it for thirty years, he will get used to it soon.'

The male dinosaur has been going out

The male dinosaur has been going out with the female dinosaur for two thousand years and finally he asks her for a kiss. She agrees.
Four thousand years later he asks if they might hug a little, and she agrees.
Three thousand years later he says, "Look, honey, we have been seeing each other for about nine thousand years. Don't you think it is about time we... er... you know, get it on?" She looks at him shyly, and says, "Oh, darling I would love to, but I'm having my decade."