A young army sergeant was posted to the deserts of Arabia

A young army sergeant was posted to the deserts of Arabia by the French Foreign Legion. After a few days he became restless and asked his officer what form of entertainment took place in the camp -- where were all the women and bars and so forth.
The officer replied, "Just be patient and wait until the camels arrive."
So the young sergeant waited patiently for several days more and inquired again and the officer replied, "For heaven's sake, just wait until the camels arrive."
The next night there was an almighty rush, all the soldiers came running out of their tents yelling and screaming.
The young sergeant grabbed the officer and asked, "What is going on?"
"The camels are coming!" replied the officer.
"But why the great rush?"
"Well, you don't want to get an ugly one, do you?"
--- --- ---
If you are starving in a desert, even camels will start looking beautiful; otherwise you can't see any difference between one camel and another. But the more your desires are starved, the more blind you become.

So remember, Buddha is not saying to starve your desires. He has been misunderstood by people, by his own followers as much as by his enemies. That is the fate of the buddhas: to be misunderstood by the friends and the enemies both. When he is saying that desire makes you blind, he is not saying to repress desire, because a repressed desire is far more dangerous. He is saying, "Understand desire, meditate over the whole phenomenon of it, and through understanding go beyond it, not through repression. Through meditation, transcend desire. Seeing that desire is misery, seeing that desire is bondage, seeing that desire drags you downwards into hell, one simply is released without any repression." And to be released from desire is to be a buddha, is to be a christ.

You cannot be satisfied by anything

"Something the matter?" asked the bartender of the young, well-dressed customer who sat staring sullenly into his drink.
"Two months ago my grandfather died and left me eighty-five thousand dollars," said the man.
"That does not sound like anything to be upset about," said the bartender, polishing a glass. "It should happen to me!"
"Yeah," said the sour young man, "but last month an uncle on my mother's side passed away. He left me hundred and fifty thousand dollars."
"So why are you sitting there looking so unhappy?" asked the bartender.
"So far this month, not a cent!"
--- --- ---

You cannot be satisfied by anything, because the mind is always asking for more. And the desire for more creates sorrow, makes you a slave. And the desire for more does not allow you to live according to the universal law. You start fighting for more. Whether it is something outward or inward does not matter; if you are fighting for something more you are going against the law of nature. Trust nature, be relaxed with it. It takes care. It is always providing you with whatsoever is really needed, and if it does not provide you, that means it is not really needed.

The Polack woman was dying.

The Polack woman was dying. With her last breath she turned to her husband and asked,
"Before I die, make love to me just one more time."

The Polack husband answered, "How could you ask me to do such a thing? It will kill you!"

The wife pleaded, "Everyone is entitled to one last request before they die, you should grant me this last wish."

The Polack replied, "Okay." He got into bed and made love to her. No sooner did he finish
than she hopped out of bed completely cured and ran downstairs and started to flick a chicken and yell into the living room, where her children were sitting, that dinner would be ready in an hour.

The children were astounded and ran up the stairs to their father who was sitting in a chair
and crying. They said, "Papa, why are you crying? It's a miracle! Mama is completely cured!"
He replied, "I know, but when I think what I could have done for Eleanor Roosevelt!"

When Mulla Nasruddin reached California

When Mulla Nasruddin reached California, he was directed by our sannyasins there to this ultimate weight-losing program. It took four days and was guaranteed to take off fifty pounds or your money would be refunded.
He entered the building and was told to enter the first door to his left and to undress there. He did so and then from a second door in the room entered a beautiful blonde woman, naked but for a sign around her neck. It read, "If you catch me, you can make love to me!"
Nasruddin felt the passion rise within him. The room was fairly small, but the lady was agile, and it took him twenty minutes to catch her. After his love-making, Nasruddin showered and left, eagerly awaiting the next day.
On the second day, he was directed to another room, a bit larger than the first. There a beautiful redhead, naked except for the sign, greeted him. The chase lasted for almost forty minutes.
On the third day, it was another, larger room, and a beautiful brunette! After almost an hour, he caught her too.
Throughout the three days, Nasruddin had kept an account of his weight loss -- twenty-eight pounds to date.
On the fourth day, he envisioned perhaps a bevy of beauties. He was directed to the top floor. He climbed the stairs, removed his clothes and waited. There was a click behind him as the door was locked, and out of his left eye he caught sight of a huge gorilla coming his way with a sign around its neck which read, "If I catch you I'm going to make love to you!"

To celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary

To celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary, Mulla Nasruddin came home and presented his wife with a little monkey.'Are you crazy or something?' shouted Mistress Nasruddin.'Where the hell are we gonna keep a monkey?'
'Don't worry,' said Nasruddin.'He will sleep right in the bed with us.'
'And what about the smell?'
'If I could stand it for thirty years, he will get used to it soon.'

The male dinosaur has been going out

The male dinosaur has been going out with the female dinosaur for two thousand years and finally he asks her for a kiss. She agrees.
Four thousand years later he asks if they might hug a little, and she agrees.
Three thousand years later he says, "Look, honey, we have been seeing each other for about nine thousand years. Don't you think it is about time we... er... you know, get it on?" She looks at him shyly, and says, "Oh, darling I would love to, but I'm having my decade."

I want another roll of film for my camera!

"Quick," yells little Ernie as he rushes into the drugstore, "my Dad is hanging upside down by his pants leg in a barbed wire fence!"

"What do you need?" asked the druggist. "Help or first aid supplies?"

"Nothing like that," says Ernie breathlessly, "I want another roll of film for my camera!"

Mulla Nasruddin was playing cards with his dog

Mulla Nasruddin was playing cards with his dog. A man looked, he was surprised -- the dog was really playing. So he said to Nasruddin, "Nasruddin, you really have a strange and wise dog."
Nasruddin said, "Not so -- he is not so wise as he appears, because whenever he gets a good hand he wags his tail. Not so wise as he looks!"

Mulla Nasruddin was walking with a very big stick

One day, Mulla Nasruddin was walking with a very big stick which was too long for him. One friend suggested, "Nasruddin, why don't you cut a few inches off from the bottom?"
Nasruddin said, "That would not help -- because it is this end that is long."

For God's sake, let it drop!

"Now I want complete silence!" says Mrs. Goodbody to her class. "I want it so quiet, you can hear a pin drop."

A deep silence descends over the classroom. After two minutes, little Ernie shouts out from the back of the room, "For God's sake, let it drop!"

At lunch one woman said to her friend

At lunch one woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. The other night I dreamed that John was having lunch with some blonde, and they were laughing together."
"Oh, for God's sake, Helen!" protested her friend. "It was only a silly dream."
"Only a dream," repeated the other. "But if he does such things in MY dreams, can you imagine what he must do in his?"

Once Mulla Nasruddin didn't go to the office

Once Mulla Nasruddin didn't go to the office. In the evening he came to see me and he was very happy, because he had slept in bed the whole day -- not a care in the world.

I asked, "Nasruddin, why have you taken a holiday today?
He said, "Couldn't help it. I tossed a coin in the morning to see whether to go to the office or not -- if it came down heads I had to go, if it came down tails I could enjoy a holiday."

So I asked, "It came down tails and you enjoyed a holiday?"
He said, "Yes, but I had to toss it ten times, then it came to tails."

Moishe Finklestein goes into the Ritzy Glitz Restaurant

Moishe Finklestein goes into the Ritzy Glitz Restaurant and treats himself to a huge meal with lots of champagne, finishing up with a Havana cigar.
Finally the waiter brings the bill on a silver tray. It comes to ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents, so Moishe pays him with a hundred-dollar bill.
About five minutes later, he calls the waiter back and asks for his change. Without altering his expression, the waiter leaves and returns a moment later with the silver tray. On it is a penny and a packet of condoms.
Moishe is shocked, and demands an explanation. The waiter lifts his nose in the air, and says, "Sir, it is the policy of our restaurant to encourage customers like you not to reproduce!

Yes...Ghhhrrr

Why Ghhhrrr? Because it doesn't make any sense!

Because life is not a tragedy, but a sheer comedy !

Really :)